Silver’s diary


I just said let me go outside and breath in fresh air, as I had been indoors for the last five minutes. So I was looking all around the backyard, seeking nothing in particular but hoping to see maybe a beautiful work of nature. When I no com see, I say make I suck one last fresh air breathe make I waka go inside. That was how I looked up to stretch my arms oh…and started smelling smoke. And then I saw it- pause for effect-I saw the thick smoke going straight up to the sky…aaarghhh!

Dear diary, sorry for not saying hi before I started writing. I am not always this ill-mannered you know. So, hi.

Back to the smoke. This smoke was thick and had a very horrible smell. Oh no! My darling neighbour’s house was on fire! I was confused. Did not know what to do. Ran indoors and out again. I was the only one at home, so no one to call for help. It was a week day (of course- work and school), so there was no one in their house either, except for the always-sleeping gate man and two maids.

I used to know the fire fighters’ emergency number one time in the past. Not anymore. I would have just rung them up. The fire might be more than I was picturing. I told myself to think fast. Think.

And you see, diary mine, this people(my neighbour) are on the high side of life, as in, you know, they are wealthy. So as part of proof of their wealth, their fence is so high ehn- so so high. Therefore I obviously could not see into the burning compound.

Then I did the bravest thing that came to my mind. I went to call the few people that were available on the street to help quench the fire.

Now this is the part I DO NOT like, so tragic. When we gathered at my neighbour’s gate (that one is also very big with no space for spying at the edges), Some of the men decided to try knocking, that is. if the gate man was not sleeping his death-like sleep. After several knocks, the gate was opened. With wide eye na him the gate man take look us as he see rescuers with buckets and detergent. He was just pushed aside as I shouted at him for sleeping while the house was on fire.

We all went to their backyard with the intention of quenching the fire when we saw their two housemaids frantically fanning the fading smoke from a grill. What?! The silly girls were making barbecue on the grill but could not start coal fire any other way except using petrol. So while they were applying fuel to the coal, it poured on the meat too and they lit the grill- with the meat on the grill gauze.

And boom!

You can imagine how stupid I felt diary dear. Imagine that it was even the smoke from after the girls had put off the fire that I saw. No, not just stupid, but humiliated. And to think that I had to go and disturb the street people, some of whom I’m sure were asleep. I was not happy at all.

So it ended up tragic because I was embarrassed, sad and the thought of if I had called fire fighters gave me a hard time smiling throughout the day.

My resolution therefore is not to ever raise any fire alarm first, unless I hear screaming.

I am tired from thinking that “fire fighter” thought. I need to rest my head.



Tana and Felix II

…continued from the previous

Mrs Wyse sighed after listening to the story from Tana.  She pressed the stop button on her recording device. She did not however stop writing things down in the notepad that was on her crossed legs.

Tana tried to make herself more comfortable on the cushioned chair she sat on and looked down at her left ring finger, staring at the beautiful gold ring in it.

Mrs Wyse sighed again, smiled and looked at her client. She loved her job quite alright but she hated when young women like Tana had to visit her. Tana’s story even reminded her a lot of hers and her husband’s. So this was going to be a very easy case. Or so she thought.

Tana wondered what was going through the mind of Mrs Wyse- the much recommended family therapist. It was Tana’s first appointment with this therapist, but her third therapist in her second year of marriage to Felix. They did not have any children yet because they wanted to earn money for a while.

Mrs Wyse spoke then, interrupting her client’s thoughts. “Tana, like I told you before we started, I like to hear the good before the bad, with a hope that things don’t get ugly.”

Tana nodded.

She continued. “I will need you to answer some questions for me before you begin with what exactly brought you to me. Are we clear?”

Tana nodded again.

Mrs Wyse began to shake her head as she said, “Sweetheart, I will be needing your voice. You have to speak to me. I want to read your emotions when you talk.”

“Yes. Yes ma.”

“I want you to tell me how you feel now, after talking about the good times.”

Tana looked at the picture hanging on the wall above her therapist’s head and smiled. The picture just read ‘PEACE UNTO YOU’. She then faced Mrs Wyse and said, “It felt real good. I thought I was actually back there…wished I was back there.”

Mrs Wyse wrote something down. “Now I want you to relax. Rest your back on the chair and tell me why you are here.”

Tana obeyed and began to talk. “Felix said I needed to see a therapist because I am stereotype and he can’t change me. So if I wanted to make our marriage work I had to visit a therapist.”

Mrs Wyse was no more writing because she had turned on her little recording device, so she was listening attentively. “So you are here because your husband told you to come?”

Tana nodded and answered at the same time. “Yes.”

“What do you think about his decision?”

Tana was staring at the ring in her finger again. “I think he is the one who needs to be here.”

“And why is that?”

This time, Tana sat up and started talking.”Felix is a proud person. He never takes to correction and he equates me to his slave. He does not have any regard for me as his wife and many times he still thinks he is a child- dressing in arm less tops and crazy jeans with at least two neck chains that he used half his salary to buy. He never helps in the kitchen or house chores. No matter how late I get home, he waits for me to warm his dinner for him despite that he always gets back from work before me…”

Mrs Wyse was tried to stay calm and not interfere with the outrage. By then Tana was breathing heavily as she rushed all what she said, almost in one sentence.

As a therapist, one had to endure outrages like that almost all the time. And the trick was to allow it happen.

Smiling, Mrs Wyse said, “You can relax now Tana.” 

After that day’s session with her client, Mrs Wyse knew this was going to be one very massive challenge. The couple wanted the marriage to work yet they were pulling down the walls of their home on each other’s head. She advised Tana that for their sake she had to invite Felix to attend sessions with her.

And truly they were both available for the next session with Mrs Wyse.

When Mrs Wyse was through with them that day she had to take a pain reliever first before going for a stroll. The couple’s case was a sorry one and she was not sure why they married each other in the first place. Yes there was love and care and all whatnot, but are those reasons good enough to launch into a life long relationship? She then decided that at their next session she would ask them to state the reasons they decided to marry each other, knowing all these things they did not like about themselves. And ask she did.

“Well since we are telling truths here without judgments,alright.” Felix began. “Aside from the love I have for Tana, My father used to complain that my mum was not very good in handling chores. The kitchen was always dirty, food was never ready on time, she used to call a maid to clean the house weekly and many other things. So my dad always told me that I must marry a woman that was good at chores, so I would not go through what he was enduring with my mother…”

Tana jumped in. “How dare you? How dare you Felix?”

Mrs Wyse immediately intervened. This kind of outrage was not to be permitted, else her office would be turned upside down in minutes. “Please, Tana. We agreed not to judge, that is how we get to hear the truth. Relax.”

Felix continued. “I really didn’t expect us to have any problems, since she was good at chores and I loved her. But I guess I was wrong.” He said, bowing his head in shame.#

The therapist smiled and turned to the wife. “It is your turn darling.”

“I married him because I love him.” She said and kept quiet.

Felix and Mrs Wyse were quiet too as if expecting to hear more. They were looking straight at her while she was looking from one to the other.

“Okay,okay. We were so much in love and people expected nothing less than for us to get together in holy wedlock. We had dated for six years and I could not have said no when he proposed to me ” She sighed and faced her husband as she continued. “I did not want to disappoint those that were looking up to us as role models. And I was thinking when we got married that you would change from your boyish way of life and be more responsible- you know? Like a family man?”

Felix frowned and said, “There is nothing wrong with my way of life. Do you want me to grow old before my time?”

“You treat me like a slave, Felix. I’m not asking you to cook my food or sweep while I lie idle on the couch. You should not take revenge on me on whatever happened between your parents. That is their life. This is ours.” 

“I was not taught to do chores. I was not taught to help a woman- my father never helped my mother and he was jobless, always at home. You are too one-sided. You need to learn your responsibilities as a woman and face them.”

Tana began to sob.

Felix was angry.

Mrs Wyse was having a headache. Though she was not supposed to say this, she said it anyway. “Have you people contemplated divorce?”

“NO!”, they both shouted.

“I am pregnant.” Tana said.

“I can’t find another wife like her.” Felix said.


Now Mrs Wyse is confused and would like to ask some help from you. What should she tell the couple in their next session?

Silver’s diary


Dear diary,

I have been pretty busy lately, so no vex say I no gist you. Busy with what you ask? Well if I wanted you to know I would have told you. 

Okay. Now I want to tell you what I saw with my very own eyes yesterday. 

Na since when I small I don know say if person wan know wetin dey happen for street ehn, make e go make hair for nearby salon or carry cloth go tailor/fashion designer shop(choose your choice). Well, now, I can boldly say that to join the ‘knowing’, you can also ‘see’. You can see the many different- lol- different types of people.

I went to one of those hair-making places and had to wait my turn, for the people wey dey there plenty no be small… hmm… if not for the parry(party) that I was to attend… one has to look good(who knows who you might meet there).

So as I was waiting o- pressing my phone(proudly Nokia ‘touch’), that was when she came in. She did not deem it fit to say hello to anyone as she walked in, heeled shoes making funny sounds on the tiles. Miss highandmighty, bag hanging from her left arm while right arm carried her mighty large phone- or tablet- or whatever it was. She then went straight to the person that was supposed to make my hair whom I was waiting for to just finish with the hair she was doing. She then asked if the stylist got her text message and the said person answered in the affirmative.

I was already tapping my left foot on the tiled floor in angry expectation when the stylist told me the lady was to make her hair before me, as she sent her a text the day before saying she was coming.

I was annoyed, yes, but what could I have done? There were two other stylists in the place but I was used to this particular one, plus she was close to finishing the customer’s hair- the one I met her doing.

I frowned, unable to hide my anger and was about to bring out my phone to press when it refused to come out(it was shy because of the other large phone).

Diary my friend, lol, this is the part you will like.

It was Miss laughing-and-pressing-large-phone’s turn, but there was still made hair on her big head. I was wondering why she did not loosen the hair before coming to make a new one and why the stylist was not complaining about that. So the stylist began to help our subject in loosening her weave-on- until- oh! It was a wig!

At this point I thought I was not seeing well. Miss big head, Gucci bag-the original (or not? No offence to the Gucci people o), high heels and big head(again!) – she was- wow- she was bald! No, there was some hair here and there(yeah, HERE and THERE!) on the big head. Could it be another wig? Hair sparsely at the back of the head, none in front except for, I think fifteen strands on the left side and some countable number in the middle.

She then started to say she wanted the one of twenty-something inches, but I no dey hear anything again. I was using all my five senses to hold down the laughter that was swelling up in me and already in my cheeks. Oh no! I could not hold it anymore. To think that with all her shakara and the way she was lifting her nose like the air was smelling bad- to think she was hairless.

AH AH AH AH AH AH AH! I burst into laughter then. But trust me nah diary-I just drag my humble phone out and begin dey press anything. By this time I was already crying and laughing altogether. 


I for no remember to gist you this gist o my friend, but guess who I saw at the parry today? (That’s right!) In long Brazilian hair o! One very fine boy come dey follow am talk- and she still dey do shakara! Jonzin tins!

 Excuse me (*laughing). I have not totally recovered from the shock of the hairless unveiling.

Tana and Felix

Tana and Felix were so much in love that one could not see anything wrong with the other. Theirs was a movie-like relationship that was full of fun, laughter and peace. Though at times they quarrelled, but they obeyed the ‘golden rule of peace’ which was for the sun not to set on ones anger.
Tana was from a well-to-do home and was the only daughter of her parents. She, along with her other two siblings were homeschooled, by their mother who was a full housewife, till they were ready enough for secondary school.
Felix on the other hand was born and bred in Canada as his parents were very wealthy. He was however sent to Nigeria (his parents’ fatherland) to pursue his higher education. Since Felix was the only child, his father did not want the only offspring he bore to forget his roots. Moreover, Felix was a spoiled child and almost always got into trouble. His mother’s brother, who also had two sons, was his guardian in Nigeria.
So it was that Tana and Felix met in the University and it was a tale of love at first sight for them. Being level mates, they became the envy of friends, families and even foes throughout their stay in the institution. Even till later, in their different working places, nothing could come between them.
There was one thing though about them both that no one else knew except the lovebirds and which each didn’t fancy about the other. Felix knew Tana was home-schooled and therefore was quite rigid in some of the things she believed in, especially, most especially morals and etiquette. Tana thought Felix was a bit ‘too much’, in lifestyle, for her. He wore neck chains that she believed a responsible man shouldn’t (but he had been wearing them since he was a kid). He didn’t know how to cook, wash dishes, clean, in fact, not one chore did he know how to do, which Tana believed was not good enough (why should he do chores? Chores belong with the woman). And some other things they could not share with anyone, since they were role models after all, expected to be perfect.
It went on like that for the two of them. Each one tried severally to change those things they were not too pleased with in the other.
Then Felix was beginning to talk about marriage and settling down. Tana, being close to her mother, had to confide in her, telling her those things she felt were unpleasant about Felix. Her mother only told her that if she couldn’t cope with it, she should not venture into it- because it was not likely going to ever change.
And one day, Felix proposed.

…to be continued.

Silver’s diary


I want to tell you what my mummy did, oh diary.
We were both on our way to the market today, at around that time when the sun likes to be shy, before it shows its true colour.
As we were walking down to the nearby market, we had to be extra careful so the passing vehicles would not splash mudddy water on us.
We were gisting o (okay let’s call it gossip), about one lady whose car got stolen at gunpoint on our street. I was just saying how she could have screamed nonetheless, that the guns would have most likely been toys, then there was a suddenly loud bang sound. The sound came from directly behind us. So closely behind us.
One moment I was laughing with my mum, the next I was looking back to check what made the sound to see if it was safe to wait or safer to run. At almost the same moment (because everything happened in a flash), I heard my mum call my name but I could not answer for it was while I checked behind me to confirm the cause of the loud sound.
When I looked forward again after confirming that it was the car behind that had its front tire suddenly burst, I saw my mum almost a kilometer away(now that’s an exaggeration).
I could not help but burst into laughter as I walked towards her. She was laughing too, and so were the passengers of a tricycle that passed by us, who had witnessed the whole incident. One of the passengers made fun of my mum that she ran away without even knowing the cause of the sound. Another one said she left her daughter (me) and ran away.
When I got to where my mother stood, still unrecovered from the irony of the incident,I accused her of running away and leaving me behind. She said it was sudden and to think that we were just talking about guns and all whatnot. I told her it was not fair- what if it were gunshots truly? And she said in times of trouble, it’s every man for himself first before anyone else.
Dairy dear, see mother o!

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