Tana and Felix II

…continued from the previous

Mrs Wyse sighed after listening to the story from Tana.  She pressed the stop button on her recording device. She did not however stop writing things down in the notepad that was on her crossed legs.

Tana tried to make herself more comfortable on the cushioned chair she sat on and looked down at her left ring finger, staring at the beautiful gold ring in it.

Mrs Wyse sighed again, smiled and looked at her client. She loved her job quite alright but she hated when young women like Tana had to visit her. Tana’s story even reminded her a lot of hers and her husband’s. So this was going to be a very easy case. Or so she thought.

Tana wondered what was going through the mind of Mrs Wyse- the much recommended family therapist. It was Tana’s first appointment with this therapist, but her third therapist in her second year of marriage to Felix. They did not have any children yet because they wanted to earn money for a while.

Mrs Wyse spoke then, interrupting her client’s thoughts. “Tana, like I told you before we started, I like to hear the good before the bad, with a hope that things don’t get ugly.”

Tana nodded.

She continued. “I will need you to answer some questions for me before you begin with what exactly brought you to me. Are we clear?”

Tana nodded again.

Mrs Wyse began to shake her head as she said, “Sweetheart, I will be needing your voice. You have to speak to me. I want to read your emotions when you talk.”

“Yes. Yes ma.”

“I want you to tell me how you feel now, after talking about the good times.”

Tana looked at the picture hanging on the wall above her therapist’s head and smiled. The picture just read ‘PEACE UNTO YOU’. She then faced Mrs Wyse and said, “It felt real good. I thought I was actually back there…wished I was back there.”

Mrs Wyse wrote something down. “Now I want you to relax. Rest your back on the chair and tell me why you are here.”

Tana obeyed and began to talk. “Felix said I needed to see a therapist because I am stereotype and he can’t change me. So if I wanted to make our marriage work I had to visit a therapist.”

Mrs Wyse was no more writing because she had turned on her little recording device, so she was listening attentively. “So you are here because your husband told you to come?”

Tana nodded and answered at the same time. “Yes.”

“What do you think about his decision?”

Tana was staring at the ring in her finger again. “I think he is the one who needs to be here.”

“And why is that?”

This time, Tana sat up and started talking.”Felix is a proud person. He never takes to correction and he equates me to his slave. He does not have any regard for me as his wife and many times he still thinks he is a child- dressing in arm less tops and crazy jeans with at least two neck chains that he used half his salary to buy. He never helps in the kitchen or house chores. No matter how late I get home, he waits for me to warm his dinner for him despite that he always gets back from work before me…”

Mrs Wyse was tried to stay calm and not interfere with the outrage. By then Tana was breathing heavily as she rushed all what she said, almost in one sentence.

As a therapist, one had to endure outrages like that almost all the time. And the trick was to allow it happen.

Smiling, Mrs Wyse said, “You can relax now Tana.” 

After that day’s session with her client, Mrs Wyse knew this was going to be one very massive challenge. The couple wanted the marriage to work yet they were pulling down the walls of their home on each other’s head. She advised Tana that for their sake she had to invite Felix to attend sessions with her.

And truly they were both available for the next session with Mrs Wyse.

When Mrs Wyse was through with them that day she had to take a pain reliever first before going for a stroll. The couple’s case was a sorry one and she was not sure why they married each other in the first place. Yes there was love and care and all whatnot, but are those reasons good enough to launch into a life long relationship? She then decided that at their next session she would ask them to state the reasons they decided to marry each other, knowing all these things they did not like about themselves. And ask she did.

“Well since we are telling truths here without judgments,alright.” Felix began. “Aside from the love I have for Tana, My father used to complain that my mum was not very good in handling chores. The kitchen was always dirty, food was never ready on time, she used to call a maid to clean the house weekly and many other things. So my dad always told me that I must marry a woman that was good at chores, so I would not go through what he was enduring with my mother…”

Tana jumped in. “How dare you? How dare you Felix?”

Mrs Wyse immediately intervened. This kind of outrage was not to be permitted, else her office would be turned upside down in minutes. “Please, Tana. We agreed not to judge, that is how we get to hear the truth. Relax.”

Felix continued. “I really didn’t expect us to have any problems, since she was good at chores and I loved her. But I guess I was wrong.” He said, bowing his head in shame.#

The therapist smiled and turned to the wife. “It is your turn darling.”

“I married him because I love him.” She said and kept quiet.

Felix and Mrs Wyse were quiet too as if expecting to hear more. They were looking straight at her while she was looking from one to the other.

“Okay,okay. We were so much in love and people expected nothing less than for us to get together in holy wedlock. We had dated for six years and I could not have said no when he proposed to me ” She sighed and faced her husband as she continued. “I did not want to disappoint those that were looking up to us as role models. And I was thinking when we got married that you would change from your boyish way of life and be more responsible- you know? Like a family man?”

Felix frowned and said, “There is nothing wrong with my way of life. Do you want me to grow old before my time?”

“You treat me like a slave, Felix. I’m not asking you to cook my food or sweep while I lie idle on the couch. You should not take revenge on me on whatever happened between your parents. That is their life. This is ours.” 

“I was not taught to do chores. I was not taught to help a woman- my father never helped my mother and he was jobless, always at home. You are too one-sided. You need to learn your responsibilities as a woman and face them.”

Tana began to sob.

Felix was angry.

Mrs Wyse was having a headache. Though she was not supposed to say this, she said it anyway. “Have you people contemplated divorce?”

“NO!”, they both shouted.

“I am pregnant.” Tana said.

“I can’t find another wife like her.” Felix said.

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Now Mrs Wyse is confused and would like to ask some help from you. What should she tell the couple in their next session?

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10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. tobiju
    Sep 24, 2013 @ 21:45:32

    dis is crious than i tot o…no1;divorce is out of it (she’s pregnant)…i think she shld schedule a session wif d felix alone. Tlk som words into his ‘chlidish brain’.

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  2. sugar ghel
    Sep 25, 2013 @ 16:32:51

    d major issue b say na d time wey dem dy 2geda dy suppose face d problem instead of hidin unda love,most people use to tink things wud change wen marriage comes in buh criosly it dosnt, it cud only go worse due to many other commitments.
    Buh as it is naw, dem don marry and walkin away isn’t an option,tana av to learn 2 love him dat way. d environment and friends wud teach him how 2 dres wel. and na praya b d koko. And felix shld remba dat a carin and lovely man sees d wife as d helper nt slave. Even if he can’t hlp he shld try and find means of makin things easy in d ouse 4d wife.

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  3. emmy
    Sep 27, 2013 @ 07:48:43

    Divorce is so nt an option……..felix needs 2 b re-oriented on aw tins wrk in marriage (who said chores was meant 4 d women…duh, we aint slaves!!!) and he really needs 2 b ready 2 make it wrk…….i hp dia love sees dem thru

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  4. ddammii
    Sep 27, 2013 @ 09:56:36

    hmmmmm, sugar ghel thank you. Mrs Wyse needs to employ you Im sure she will appreciate your words.

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  5. phoyin martins
    Sep 27, 2013 @ 12:13:57

    A little here n there makes the word compromise(or sacrifice as the case might be). I think mrs wyse might as well sit the couple to tea or dinner and tell her relationship story since tana’s is a reminder of it. The experience will definately right some wrongs. Waiting to see how this goes oh silver. More wisdom!

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  6. temitopepopoola
    Oct 06, 2013 @ 23:49:04

    This is really serious, a situation that could be reckoned with here and there! Probably the therapist should ask Felix what he wants to be changed in his wife and Tana same too. They both need to change their orientation and might as well find new reasons to be in that marriage! Divorce is traumatic so they shouldn’t even contemplate it.

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