Just grow first

I remember when I was much younger, here and there, left and right I heard the dangers of having a boyfriend(bf) or girlfriend(gf) in teenage. Being a Christian, the dangers were more on the spiritual side- infact Yoruba Christians call a bf or gf “ore abani d’ese”, meaning a friend with whom one sins.

The elderly Christians made it a point of duty to put the fear of hell in the hearts of us teenagers, that is if we had a bf or gf it was a sin and sinners go to hell. They told us how it was a sin and a SIN to venture into a relationship. I never understood why it was a sin until one of my friends “chopped liver” and got herself a bf.

First of all she gradually put some space between herself and us- her female friends (that’s sin 1) and spent more time with the boy. Then she called him the love of her life (sin 2)…….according to what the elders told us, Jesus was the love of our lives. After that, our more mature friends gave her some rules- no K, no R, no S. I did not decode the KRS, but because I did not want to be laughed at, I didn’t ask the meaning. I got to know when it was said that she did K (kissing) and R (romancing) with her bf.

Now, that I am well past the teenage, I have learnt other reasons children (yes, they have started dating one another) and teenagers should just stick to the end of their parents cloth and lick sweet. This reason surprisingly affects both the old and the young.
If you are below ten and you are reading this- shouldn’t you be doing your homework?
If you are below seventeen let me ask you a question- are you independent? If yes then :go ahead and have as many gfs or bfs you want. If no, how much do you collect from your parents as allowance? You will need to make compulsory love calls, send mandatory love text messages and importantly buy gifts for special occassions or the sheer reason of love. All these and more from the peanut mummy and daddy manages to cough out for you! Isn’t life cruel? Though we all believe in the adage “It is well”, in this case my friend it really is not.

Okay, let us even assume your dad is the president of the world. What about emotional maturity? Don’t you still cry (or sulk all day) when daddy refuses to give you money or when mummy gives you a smaller meat compared to that of your younger sibling? And you want to delve into a relationship. A RELATIONSHIP! It is well!
If you are above eighteen……blah blah blah….the main point here is grow up. Not in age alone, but in WISDOM and MONEY.

Answer questions about yourself like-
1)”How well do I handle pressure from my siblings?” Because like it or not, that of a gf/ bf is double.
2) “Can I let about half of my daily/weekly/monthly allowance go to a non-governmental organization (bf/gf)?”
3)”Even if I can,would it be enough for recharge card and gift money plus the occassional ‘show off’ money?”
4) And so on.

As for the adults, especially the married ones, be wise abeg. Taking care of your children is not the primary duty of the president or the governor. It is enough that your wife has five kids, all between 0-7. You now borrowed balls to put another woman in the family way- three times! Yet you are turbo-driving in debt here and there. Do you think it is well when you are not ignorant of your state of “everything” and with your open eye you gave another woman multiple belle. It is well!!!
And the woman who is planning her third wedding, have you thought if the problem is with you and not the men whom you have divorced. Check yourself, you might be forty but twelve upstairs.

Bottom line is that no matter our age or gender we should consider our pockets and brain before swimming in the pool of relationships. And be reasonable in our considerations.


6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. akinnmejiwa foyinsola
    Jun 26, 2014 @ 18:53:49

    Wisdom & money….pocket and brain shey?! “it is well. And for those that are swimming or struggling to swim..I wish you the very best #Selah



  2. Emeka
    Jun 26, 2014 @ 18:54:50

    Nice piece



  3. damstylee
    Jun 28, 2014 @ 10:13:18

    I love this!

    And though I might not possess enough to donate regularly to a nongovernmental organisation, the benefits are quite enticing.. Hence my recent associations with them…. Maybe, I’ll learn now…

    Nice work Dami… You’ve managed to pass a serious message in a funny way .. (y)



  4. ddammii
    Jun 30, 2014 @ 21:09:25

    Thank you sake. Yeah you should learn b4 many hearts break…lol



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